In a truly rational culture this would occur in a loving, supportive family environment, with constant daily reminders to the child that they are OK. But in our culture it occurs among intensive advertising that drums into every young girl every day the message that, for women, beauty and youth and “sexiness” matter more than anything else. The models of perfect airbrushed beauty that they see every day in advertising and on TV and in movies set a standard that almost no human (including the models and actors themselves, without the fancy lighting, makeup, and computer improvements) could achieve, and as a result promote in many young girls a feeling of inadequacy that will blight the rest of their lives.
Look, for example, at the provocative clothes being pushed by merchandisers to girls as young as 9 or 10 – some of the outfits would be in bad taste on an adult porn star, and certainly are inappropriate for a pre-teen. Yet advertising, and then the peer pressure it creates, are driving massive sales for these kinds of outfits. In fact, as any mother already knows if they have been paying attention, it’s getting harder and harder to find age-appropriate clothes for young girls.
And then there is the destructive peer pressure at school and on the playground on all children, but especially on young girls, not to show too much brilliance or focus on education, lest they be labeled “nerds” and shunned. Nothing could be more effective at destroying the native curiosity and joy of learning that every young child starts with.
Nor is the danger only from the advertising and stereotypes of adults. In a phenomena seen repeatedly in the world, the oppressed often internalize their oppression and begin to oppress each other. Many women, and many young girls, have “bought into” these stereotypes, and as a consequence the abuse and pressure to conform from peers can be as bad and as destructive as any abuse from adults.
Parents (and grandparents) need to pay attention to this problem and be sure their young daughters and granddaughters are not being chewed up by the system. Some parents reason that their children ought to be “hardened” by experience to such assaults, on the grounds that that is the real world they will have to live in. I think that is defective logic. No one of any age is “helped” by abuse, but children especially are so easily damaged for life by such experiences.