I recently heard this generation of parents described as “helicopter parents”, because they hover ceaselessly around their children.
I know parents who are like this; they are in their child’s face every day all day long. They seem to feel they would be failing their children if they didn’t participate in every activity the child undertakes. They worry endlessly about protecting their children from anything that might possibly be the slightest bit disturbing.
They are deeply concerned about their diet, their bedtimes, their homework, what they read, what they wear, how they keep their room, who their friends are, and above all keeping them safe from any possible risk, however small.
While this approach is certainly better than being completely disinterested in one’s children, I can’t help thinking that this sort of child-centered family life can’t be all that good for either the children or their parents.
Childhood should be a time when children explore and experiment and find out who they really are. It’s hard to find out who you really are if someone else is trying to control every detail and aspect of your daily life.
Children need a chance to try things and fail, and discover that failing sometimes is OK, it’s a natural part of life. They need a chance to make decisions, good ones and bad ones, and learn from their bad decisions. They need the freedom to take risks, within reasonable bounds.
Childhood should be a time when parents let children begin to learn about and participate occasionally in adult activities, not when parents participate endlessly in childhood activities.
Childhood is life’s gift of time to be creative and imaginative; a time for unscheduled, free-form play, not a daily regime in which every hour not filled by organized sports or classes is consumed driving to and from all of these scheduled appointments. . Children need down-time; they need lots of it.
It seems to me that in such child-centered families both the children and their parents need to get a life!
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